Sometimes the wrong decisions lead us to the right places.
.. and for years I’ve had friends who have gone and honestly, I would really love to go. But in all seriousness, the one true thing that holds me back is how insecure I feel around 90% naked, defined by man as “drop dead gorgeous”, “flawless”, “jaw-dropping” women.
I mean perhaps I’m one of those people who are disappointed with the objectification of women. But somehow instead I find myself feeling angry with men who buy into the objectification even more. By posting or reposting photos on fb or Instagram like a true “dawg”, or drooling over car models and getting giddy as though a hot body is what they truly dream of and desire and need in a woman. Not that a girl shouldn’t strive to be healthy and physically beautiful NOR that a man can’t fantasize and doesn’t deserve a gorgeous girl.. But it’s completely rational to fear that men can’t see that a girl can be gorgeous without looking full yet flawless.
Totally rational based on the amount of drool that they must mop off the floor.
It’s just that, men and society can fantasize about it but it’s often at the expense of breaking a woman’s confidence.
and of course I’m not speaking about all men. nor all women.
It’s just strange to me that at this age, 23, loving who I am, I’m finding myself more insecure over body image than I could ever remember in my whole life. Caused by fear that what I am will never be enough. Caused by what I see everywhere in everything. No I shouldn’t need some sort of validation.. So maybe I’m just not as confident in my own skin as I thought? Or maybe I just hate men because of my past experiences.
As much as I wanna see the cars.. that’s just why you won’t see me at a car show.
Housing all this doubt and insecurity.
Locked inside that house.
Ya know, being completely honest, nothing can remedy a lonely heart other than the company it longs for
It’s very hard for me not to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Vegan Colorful Snack Round Up